Plain language and design rethink: IRCTC

A few days ago, I booked a train ticket on the IRCTC website. I then had to cancel it for some reason. I tried to look up the cancellation and refund procedures. It wasn’t an easy find or read. I noted a few things down on how the website could be better with plain language and design and improved user experience.

For those not aware, irctc.co.in is the official website of the Indian Railways for online ticket booking. With a monthly traffic of about 13 million, it is one of the most visited websites in India. 

User experience
The cancellation and refund procedures are hidden away as PDFs. Why so, when we know that PDFs cause frustration and slow task completion. A webpage makes for better user experience than a pdf: Its easier to navigate, is interactive, and does not require you to download it.

An explanation video would have done the job much better, especially for cancellation. But given that it is a government website, I am not going to push that too much.

As I write this, I realize that’s how I have been conditioned to expect less from the government, not more. This post shall then be about overcoming this conditioning: to expect more from the government, indeed, to demand it.

A few other things I noted were (a) the general busyness of the website, which was mildly disorienting to me. The chatbot takes too much space on the screen. Even when minimized, it’s prominent. 

And (b) the glaring lack of translation, even machine translation. For such a highly-used website in a country that speaks so many languages, how do you explain this?

Now, the language part.
The document is confused about how to address the user. It says “user,” “you”, and “passenger” at different times. It’s better to address the user in just one way, and “you” will do just fine. But what definitely needs to be changed is the use of the possessive pronoun “his”.

Some other plain language edits:

Original
“Access IRCTC e-Ticketing website by providing correct Username and Password on Login screen.”

Plain language version

“Log in to the IRCTC e-Ticketing website.”
(Obviously, if you do not provide the correct username and password, you cannot log in. Why bloat the sentence then?)

Original
“If user wishes to cancel his e-ticket, go to 'My Transactions' and Click 'Booked Ticket History' link under My Account menu.”

Plain language version

“Go to 'My Transactions' and Click 'Booked Ticket History' link under My Account menu.”
(The user is reading the e-ticket cancellation guide. What other purpose in life could they possibly have at that point?)


Still, all of this is far better than the language of the refund rules document which simply reproduces the government’s gazette notification. No attempt has been made to rewrite the text for laypersons.

Original
“If amount debited from customer account and ticket not issued, IRCTC will refund the entire Fare and IRCTC convenience fee electronically (as credit to the relevant credit /debit card account used for the transaction), but the bank/card transaction charges are likely to be forfeited.”

Plain language version

“If the amount is debited from your account and ticket not issued, IRCTC will refund the fare and IRCTC convenience fee electronically to your account. However, you may lose the bank/card transaction charges.”

Original
“In case of e-tickets shall be cancelled online or online TDR shall be filed within the time limits prescribed under these rules for obtaining refund.

Where a RAC ticket or wait-listed ticket is presented for cancellation, the refund of fare shall be made after deducting the clerkage if the ticket is present for cancellation upto thirty minutes before the scheduled departure of the train irrespective of the distance.”

Plain language version

“To obtain a refund, cancel e-tickets online or file the TDR online within the time limits mentioned here.

Cancel an RAC ticket or wait-listed ticket at least 30 minutes before train departure. IRCTC will then refund the fare minus its fee.”
(Clerkage seems to be railway jargon. The user doesn’t need to be bothered with it. IRCTC charge or fee gets the meaning across.)


The edits I have provided here are not the only way of simplifying these sentences, but are only guidelines. The point being that IRCTC needs to talk “to” its users and not “down” at them. And that writing in plain language is not all that difficult, if the intention is to help achieve the user’s objective as quickly and easily as possible.

Why do we write like this?!

 

This is an excerpt from the letter written by the Karnataka Forest Department to the municipality of Sirsi – my nearby town. The document was obtained through a Right to Information (RTI) application.

And here's the background: Some trees were marked to be cut down on a street in Sirsi. A few of us started asking questions to the municipality and the forest department. We were passed from one to the other until we were told that the forest department knew nothing about the decision to cut these trees down. As the trees were on municipal property, it was the municipality’s decision to do so.

A friend filed the RTI application and received this document. As it shows, the forest department knew very well about the proposed tree cutting. It has even made arrangements for the timber to be carried to its depot.

While the double-speak is one part of the issue, what caught my eye, or shall I say, jammed my eye, is this gargantuan sentence-paragraph made up of 60 words! Why write like this? Isn't it tiring to write, let alone read?

Perhaps the simplest and the most necessary first step in plain language translation is to break down monster paragraphs like these into human sentences.

The more I think about why we write like this, it seems to me there's an implied understanding that it's not really written to be understood. It's not written to express meaning. It is simply carried out as a chore. The human need to communicate has long gone missing. This is mostly always true of government communication, aka bureaucratese, but we see such examples all around us, all too often.

Have you come across bureaucratese or officialese recently? I can't say I'll be happy to know, but feel free to vent.

Plain language in India – An update

I wrote about the status of plain language in India some time ago. This is an update to that post.

>> In March this year, the then Chief Justice of India D Y Chandrachud asked judges to write judgments “in a language comprehensible to the common people”. I wish I had a link available to the full text of his speech, but I don’t. This is perhaps the most important call for plain language till date in India. 

>> Vidhi updated its manual for legal drafting and renamed it SARAL. “The SARAL Manual builds on the work of the 2017 manual and intends to compile learnings from the past five years to develop a more comprehensive, holistic approach toward legal drafting,” it says. SARAL is open to public feedback. I have given them mine. You can give yours too. 

>> Earlier this year, the Securities and Exchange Board of India (SEBI) issued guidelines for the draft offer document to be in clear language. The draft offer document is submitted by a company to SEBI before an initial public offering (IPO). 

If the guidelines are not followed, SEBI says, it may return the document to the company.

>> In "Gauging Linguistic Complexity of Regulatory Communication: A Case Study for India" published in its April bulletin, the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) used readability indicators to look at the language of banking regulations. It concluded that "most circulars require at least graduate level education, which is generally the education level of commercial bank employees." 

While this step from the RBI is welcome, the case study stops at assessing internal banking content. The next move has to be to look at the complexity of the language of the forms, contracts, agreements and other documents that banks present to their customers.  

>> We now have a LinkedIn group for plain language in India, blessed by PLAIN. 

Louder and clearer, please?

There has been a flurry of articles on plain language, mostly focused on its use in law. I came upon appeals for a plain language act by law students here and here. The term plain language is now heard more often in India than ever before. Jobs too are opening up in plain language, though mostly for plain-language summary writers. 

While these are good developments in themselves, we now have to step it up and make sure that it is not mere noise. We need to take substantial steps towards actually adopting plain language. 

I say this because some of the appeals, articles, or guidelines for plain language that I have mentioned here are themselves not plain. So it leaves me in doubt if the authors understand what it is to speak clearly. However, I will park these misgivings of mine for now and hope that we can keep working towards more clarity. 

Plain language and design rethink: UIDAI

This post is about how the UIDAI website can be more human-centric using plain language (PL) and design principles. This is not a comprehensive critique. I have picked eight examples to show how these principles can make life easier for the site’s users.

I am happy to be publishing this post just a couple of days before International Plain Language Day. I hope we can pick up the momentum here in India on writing more clearly and humanly.

The Universal Identification Authority of India is a government agency responsible for issuing citizens the Aadhaar card / number. This number is unique to each individual and is key in accessing governmental services. It is also a highly preferred document to open your bank account, rent a house, get a gas connection – in short, to live your life in India.

#1 Avoid wordiness.

Aadhaar Mitra, the bot, that pops up on the home page says:

“Welcome to Aadhaar!

Hi, I am your Aadhaar Mitra.

How May I Help you!!

Ask me anything about Aadhaar!”


It could have simply said, “Hi, I am your Aadhaar Mitra. How may I help you?”

Using fewer words saves everyone’s time. A chat bot’s messages have no business being wordy, as it must cater to immediate requests from users.

#2 Use lists when talking about a number of things.

Identity and address proof documents mentioned on this page can be better presented with a list and sub-heads:


What to submit?

For proof of identity and address:

• Ration card

• Voter identity card

• Government-issued identity card/certificate having address

• Indian Passport

For proof of identity:

• PAN card

• Driving license

• Secondary or Senior School mark sheet/ School leaving certificate having photograph

• Government-issued identity card/ certificate

For proof of address:

• Electricity/water/gas bill (last 3 months)

• Bank / Post Office passbook

• Rent/ lease/ leave & license agreement

#3. Use “you” and other pronouns. Speak directly.

And

#4: Cut the bloat.

Below is the introductory paragraph on the grievance and feedback page and a possible rewrite. The original paragraph prefaces and rambles. I have implemented two important PL principles in this example: use pronouns like you would in a conversation with human beings and eliminate unnecessary words.

Strangely, it seems like as if this page is only for grievances related to the update process.

Original
Aadhaar, as the most commonly used digital identity, is used to avail of numerous subsidies, benefits and services. In view of the same, for maintaining the accuracy of the Aadhaar database, UIDAI had initiated an exercise for update of documents and Aadhaar information. In the course of activities undertaken to keep the Aadhaar database updated, intimations are issued from time to time to Aadhaar number holders. In this connection, it is clarified that no Aadhaar number has been cancelled. In case any Aadhaar number holder has any grievance in this regard, they may submit their feedback here. Any such grievance will be duly addressed.

Rewritten in plain language
To maintain the accuracy of your Aadhaar information, we ask you to update your documents from time to time. We wish to clarify that we have not cancelled any Aadhaar number in the updating process.

If you have a complaint about your Aadhaar update, please fill in the form here.

In the rewrite, I have:

• Used pronouns such as “you” and “we”. This speaks directly to the user and makes it an interaction between human beings. It invokes trust, is shorter, and easier to understand than the distant-sounding passive phrases which eliminate the need to use a pronoun.

• Deleted prefacing sentences, such as the first one in the original paragraph.

• Deleted phrases like “In view of the same”, “in this connection”, and “in this regard” which merely add flab and have no real purpose.

• Deleted repetitive information couched in different words. The phrase “In the course of activities undertaken to keep the Aadhaar database updated” refers to what has already been stated in the previous sentence.

• Tightened up the copy: Use “if” instead of “in case”.

• Got rid of officialese such as “duly addressed”. Scratch that. I got rid of all of the last sentence. If I fill in a grievance form, I obviously expect it to be addressed.

#5. Use common and accurate words.

“Demographics” is a word that comes up often on the site. Demographic refers to anything related to population or the different groups in it. When the UIDAI site says “Update demographics data”, it simply means “Update your data”.

While “demographics” is not a common word that most people visiting the UIDAI site can easily understand, it is not even the correct word in this context. Using inaccurate words has a further repercussion when you bring in machine translation (MT). In the machine-translated Kannada version of the website, demographics becomes ಜನಸಂಖ್ಯಾ ಮಾಹಿತಿ, which is the literal translation of the word. It means population information. Not helpful.

Same goes for the word “grievance”. “Complaint” is a more commonplace word.

#6. Create a glossary.

Following from the last point, a glossary or a terminology database is necessary for terms used on the website. The glossary must state the meaning of the term in the context of the website. This can be used to train MT engines and can serve as a reference for professional translators as well.

A glossary can help avoid the many mistakes that can crop up with translation down the line and the ensuing need for corrections. While this is not a strictly plain language recommendation, it is conducive to it.

And while we are on the subject of MT, the disclaimer about MT accuracy needs to be visible when someone opens the translated versions of the website. It’s currently at the very bottom of the main site.

#7. Keep accessibility in mind.

The UIDAI site uses a carousel to highlight new features. It moves pretty fast from slide to slide. I usually find it hard to read from carousels and am constantly trying to keep up. It isn’t just me though.

The W3C (Web Accessibility Initiative) has this to say about carousels:

“Carousels are disputed from a usability perspective because their content can be hard to discover.”

And

“For any moving, blinking or scrolling information that (1) starts automatically, (2) lasts more than five seconds, and (3) is presented in parallel with other content, there is [must be] a mechanism for the user to pause, stop, or hide it...”

(Text in square brackets is mine.)

Carousels make it distracting for people with difficulties reading or focusing. They also don’t seem to take into account the fact that people read at different speeds. We have data to show that carousels are ignored by most users: only 1% interact with a carousel at all, and 89% of them only with the first slide.

When they must be used, carousels must have a pause button. The carousel on the UIDAI site does have a pause button, but is hard to find as it’s right in the middle of the slide and I missed it on my initial visits. It didn't seem to work either when I clicked it and the carousel kept playing.

Carousels do help in packing a lot of information in a smaller space. But a government website is better off helping citizens accomplish their objective, rather than confuse or distract them in an effort to save space.

The good news, however, is that carousels are missing from the subdomains of the site.

The UIDAI website carries a certification stamp from the Guidelines for Indian Government Websites and Apps (GIGW). These guidelines quote from the very same W3C guideline on carousels in Section 5.2.25. Yet, the message seems to be lost.

#8. Clear the clutter.

The whole set of links under the About Aadhaar button can be moved off the main navigation. Same goes for the Ecosystem links. These are obviously not for the lay user, but for the people or agencies who work for UIDAI or for media personnel who seek additional information.



As I said before, this is not a comprehensive clarity audit. What did you notice that can be improved? Share in the comments.

Five key learnings from Better Posters

I recently attended a webinar on "Better Posters" by Mike Morrison. My key learnings from the webinar:

1. With posters, you need to communicate fast. You have a few seconds to catch someone's attention as they walk past your poster in an exhibition or corridor. The information you are putting out may be important. It's necessary to try and aim at reaching your message to ALL of those who pass by, rather than just a few.

2. Get in touch with your feelings. Mike repeated this often. And I wondered why. It then struck me that perhaps when you are creating a science poster, you reduce the communication to the mere facts and drain out all human elements from it. This can happen when empathy is missing from the communication.

If the poster is about a drug claiming to cure cancer, it is important information for someone who is suffering from cancer and for someone who is treating cancer patients. How can we get the top-level information of a poster to these people in a few seconds? For the communicator, it may merely be information. For the cancer patient, it may make a difference to their life.

Only when we are in touch with our own feelings can we even fathom how the intended audience might receive the message.

3. Another thing that he repeated often was to communicate the same message across visual, verbal, and emotional channels. Sometimes, in presentations the on-screen text is about one thing while the speaker is saying something that is not exactly the same -- the speaker may be introducing some additional information. This can be jarring and delay comprehension.

4. Templates can bring in boredom or synaptic fatigue, as Mike put it. Slide after slide, if information is presented in the same way, you might just zoom out. Bring in variety. Even talk differently during a presentation, Mike advised. I wonder how this piece of advice would sit with marketing folks. The same message is bombarded on to our senses again and again in the name of branding. Perhaps this is one reason why people tune out of advertisements.

5. Avoid chunky text or too much text in posters. It's easy to be over-enthusiastic in pouring out every bit of information into the poster. However, we need to deliver the top-level information in just a few seconds. That's the hook to convert the passer-by into an interested reader. Once this happens, you can go incrementally into more details.

Plain language: a portal to translation, accessibility, user experience

Plain language intersects with many other professions. It can be an enabler of better translation, better accessibility, and better user experience (UX).

Let me explain how. And, at the end of the article, I also talk about how all four areas of work can and should come together to enable a better experience of the web for anyone.

I write this article because I have worked in the translation industry and I am a plain language writer and editor. Yet, I often see that professionals in both fields work in parallel, but hardly together. Such bubbles also perhaps exist between accessibility and plain language, and UX and plain language. This article is an attempt to show that together is better.

Plain language and translation

Plain language is, in actuality, an act of translation. A plain language editor converts mystifying mumbo-jumbo into information that the intended audience can understand and use. If you compare the before and after versions, it might just feel like two different languages!

A translator also needs to be a plain language writer and editor. At least, a good translator does.

When a translator first encounters a chunk of text in the source language, they must first understand it. If this is text is not in plain language, the translator – whether or not they acknowledge it – mentally does the plain language editing. Only then, can they proceed to write the text in the target language.

As Dominique Joseph, translator and plain language trainer, puts it, “[Translators] translate the meaning, not the words.” She goes on to describe a number of steps that she takes as a translator to make the text “easy to read, easy to understand, easy to use.” She has put it wonderfully and you should head over to her blog to read it in full.

As I went through her steps, I realized that what she is describing is about “helping readers find what they are looking for, understand it, and then take action based on that information.” And that, my friend, is plain language.

When plain language moves from being a mental process of the translator to being an explicit step in translation, or better still in authoring, translation improves.

Marie-Elise Georgelin, plain language trainer at Labrador Language Services, writes in the latest PLAIN E-journal, “...using plain language means:

• messages can sink in faster

• there are fewer misinterpretations

• translations will be quicker, more effective, and more accurate.”

When Labrador’s translation team worked on plain source text, they produced translations which also had a high plain language score and fewer words. “The quality of the source text systematically improved the translation by the same amount,” Georgelin writes. She says plain language in the source text can also similarly improve machine translation output.

Plain language and accessibility

Plain language is an essential part of the accessibility tool kit. The Washington Post says, “Writing in plain language makes our content more accessible to a wide variety of people, including those with cognitive disabilities, lower reading literacy and less background knowledge of the topic or concept being covered. This also matters in the design of user interfaces.”

A more targeted version of plain language is available for people with reading and learning disabilities. It is called Easy to Read. It helps “people with intellectual disabilities learn new things and take part in society,” to name a few benefits.

A few years ago, I worked for an online entertainment magazine where I would re-write popular news items into easy-to-read articles. I would first re-write them in plain language and then do an easy-to-read version. Doing the plain language re-write was the bulk of the work, I observed. Easy-to-read was just taking care of a few more technical things from that point.

Again, you don’t always have to be disabled to appreciate how plain language can make text more accessible to you. Imagine going through a dense paragraph filled with jargon and big, confusing words when you have a splitting headache.

Plain language and user experience (UX)

UX is at the very heart of the plain language movement. Plain language was born to serve only one purpose: help the user achieve their objective. “User” may not be the particular word they used back in the 1970s when the first efforts began to write in plain language. But whether you call them the reader, consumer, or citizen, it is still the same thing.

When a user is on your website, you cannot hem and haw, throw fat slabs of gobbledygook at them, and expect them to be still hanging around. The user is on your website for a purpose. And, the plain reality is that your content must help them achieve that purpose.

Plain language lets you have that conversation with your user without getting in their way, without alienating them. It is about sharing information they are seeking and came to your website for.

By writing in plain language, you also hit the right spots with SEO. People almost always use plain language when they are searching for something. If your content is already embedded with these keywords, your potential users will find you right away.



Not to forget that all of the above areas of work – translation, accessibility, and UX – also have several overlaps and that none are enough on their own, not even plain language.

For instance, translation increases accessibility. Let’s remember that the purpose of accessibility is to ensure “...social inclusion for people with disabilities as well as others, such as older people, people in rural areas, and people in developing countries”. (Emphasis added.) Or, as Alba Villamil, user researcher from HmntyCntrd, says, plain language is not enough when designing for immigrants or people with English as Second Language (ESL).

Let’s say you have plain language and translation. However, if you have elements on your website that disrupt the user, it’s lose-lose. Large, persistent ads on some Indian newspaper sites come to my mind. I often lose the thread as I am reading on these sites when paragraphs are divided up by huge blocks of ads or distracting, garish video ads display right next to the article.

There possibly are other areas of work with which plain language intersects to enable fulfilling human experiences. Do write in if you think of any.

'Pee-pooh' and other plain language lessons from the NHS

Most of us have been in the doctor’s chamber at some point in our lives. Again, most of us have looked up health information online. How many times have we understood what the doctor or the website said at one go?

Speaking for myself, the smug look on the faces of doctors as they rattle off their medical jargon is simply irritating at best. (“Why can’t he talk human?”) It was confusing and scary one time, as an aunt lay in the Intensive Care Unit and my mind fogged up with all the jargon.

Medical information is not something you flip through to pass time. You need it to make important decisions about your health, understand how to take a certain medication, or use a medical device. You often need the information in a jiffy. And, if you can access it confidentially, all the better.

The National Health Service understands all of this. One look at their website and it left me wondering when we could have something like this for Indians in Indian languages. While that may be some time away (!), let’s take a look at how this British government agency went about translating medical information into accessible, plain language.

Preferring the accurate term to general information. The NHS style guide prefers to say, “4 out of 5 people recover fully in a week,” than say, “You have a good chance of recovery”. The former way of saying it gives the patient a clearer idea of the recovery period than the latter option does.

Even when health information is hard to put across directly, it still needs to be done. And hence, the NHS says, “You are positive” versus “Tests indicated cancer cells still remained”. Unclear language can only cause more anxiety and confuse the patient.

Using the colloquial term over the technical. The NHS does not hesitate from using terms such as ‘pee and pooh’. It argues that these words are widely and correctly understood, rather than the technical term ‘urine’ which might be restricted to people with higher literacy.

But while choosing the common word, the NHS is careful to avoid those that might bring in ambiguity. Like ‘wee’ and ‘stool’. People who use voice technologies might confuse the word ‘wee’ with ‘we’. And, for some people, stool is only something to sit on.

It’s not that the technical term is never used in NHS content. When they have to use the word ‘urine’, the NHS’ content designers make sure they explain it. For instance, “a poo sample (stool sample)”. This way of educating the user helps them understand the technical terms which they might hear form their doctor.

Doing solid user surveys. The ‘pee-pooh’ decision was based on a survey of over 10,000 website visitors. The overwhelming response was in favour of common words, though some people said they didn’t like such words. It also looks at Google search results for synonymous words that people search for.

This level of detailed research is possible only because of a top-down push for plain language. The research places the content authors on firm ground when they make their decisions on terms to use.

And, one step further. One of the hospitals in the NHS network has asked its doctors to communicate with their patients in plain English. It suggests that doctors avoid Latin terms, acronyms, and convoluted language. It has also come up with a guideline for doctors on how to write clearer outpatient letters. It says, “In the Problem/Diagnoses list, you may use some medical jargon. However, use plain English when possible. For example, use ‘kidney’ instead of ‘renal’. In the body of the letter, you can explain jargon, such as with ‘You have an irregular pulse. This is called atrial fibrillation.’”

Those working in health communication must always bear in mind that jargon and acronyms used in healthcare are largely not understood by the people they care for. Avoiding jargon means you are being more patient-friendly, not dumbing down.  

The NHS believes there are no conditions that can’t be explained in plain language. It has set the benchmark and provided the guidelines. The journey to clarity in health communication just got more doable.