Translating the death registration form into plain English

 

I worked on the death registration form as a volunteer for Zen Citizen. I'd have liked to use some screenshots but the login is very buggy and I could not get into the Seva Sindhu portal once I completed the project. So, here’re some text-only highlights: 

Preferred language: This is a field at the beginning of the form. At first, it seems like an innocent enough query. But look at it more deeply and it can unhinge the entire form. By preferred language, what is the government asking? Is it the preferred language in which I want to fill the form? Or, is it the preferred language in which I want the Death Registration certificate to be provided? 

I selected English and proceeded to the subsequent fields. However, the language preference continued to haunt me. Further below in the form, it asks for the deceased’s name in Kannada. This on an English form. What happens if I am not a Kannada-speaking person? Of course, you can always use transliterating tools to input the name in Kannada, but how do I verify if it’s a correct reproduction of my name? 

The converse is even more problematic: that is, being asked to type the name in English when I have chosen Kannada as my language for the form. In English, one’s name can be spelled in so many ways. How do you verify if it’s correct if you don’t know English? This can result in a critical failure because if the certificate spells your name wrong, it’s a dud. None of the government agencies will accept it and getting it corrected is a lifetime’s work. 

Ration card: The form assumes everyone has a ration card! How did this come to be? If you don’t have a ration card, you cannot even begin with the form as the name of the deceased is automatically populated from the ration card. 

Date & time of death: The time selection menu progresses by the minute. This can be very tedious to navigate to the exact hour and minute. Providing a time selection menu like we use to set alarms in mobile phones shouldn’t be too difficult. The other question is why the time of death is relevant, unless we are investigating homicide. 

We also looked at the necessity of some of the data being collected – like the age of the deceased’s spouse. We are waiting to hear from Seva Sindhu on this and other queries. 

My learnings from this project as of now

• The form is not designed from the user’s perspective. It seems to primarily solve things for the government agency rather than the citizen.  
• It works on many assumptions -- that someone typing in English also knows how to type their name in Kannada; that everyone has a ration card; that if they cannot figure out something, they can always avail the services of a broker. 
• The form does not seem to be tested with users. Else, some of the things I highlighted here may have caught the eye of the form creators. 
• The form does not seem to take into cognizance the varied background of the users. Given that it’s a death registration form, it is applicable to everyone (!) and hence must be usable by everyone. 

The lacunae of this form are not unique to it. God knows, there are worse government forms out there. It is representative though and makes for a good beginning. Hope to be able to report positively on this project in the days to come. 

Plain language and design rethink: IRCTC

A few days ago, I booked a train ticket on the IRCTC website. I then had to cancel it for some reason. I tried to look up the cancellation and refund procedures. It wasn’t an easy find or read. I noted a few things down on how the website could be better with plain language and design and improved user experience.

For those not aware, irctc.co.in is the official website of the Indian Railways for online ticket booking. With a monthly traffic of about 13 million, it is one of the most visited websites in India. 

User experience
The cancellation and refund procedures are hidden away as PDFs. Why so, when we know that PDFs cause frustration and slow task completion. A webpage makes for better user experience than a pdf: Its easier to navigate, is interactive, and does not require you to download it.

An explanation video would have done the job much better, especially for cancellation. But given that it is a government website, I am not going to push that too much.

As I write this, I realize that’s how I have been conditioned to expect less from the government, not more. This post shall then be about overcoming this conditioning: to expect more from the government, indeed, to demand it.

A few other things I noted were (a) the general busyness of the website, which was mildly disorienting to me. The chatbot takes too much space on the screen. Even when minimized, it’s prominent. 

And (b) the glaring lack of translation, even machine translation. For such a highly-used website in a country that speaks so many languages, how do you explain this?

Now, the language part.
The document is confused about how to address the user. It says “user,” “you”, and “passenger” at different times. It’s better to address the user in just one way, and “you” will do just fine. But what definitely needs to be changed is the use of the possessive pronoun “his”.

Some other plain language edits:

Original
“Access IRCTC e-Ticketing website by providing correct Username and Password on Login screen.”

Plain language version

“Log in to the IRCTC e-Ticketing website.”
(Obviously, if you do not provide the correct username and password, you cannot log in. Why bloat the sentence then?)

Original
“If user wishes to cancel his e-ticket, go to 'My Transactions' and Click 'Booked Ticket History' link under My Account menu.”

Plain language version

“Go to 'My Transactions' and Click 'Booked Ticket History' link under My Account menu.”
(The user is reading the e-ticket cancellation guide. What other purpose in life could they possibly have at that point?)


Still, all of this is far better than the language of the refund rules document which simply reproduces the government’s gazette notification. No attempt has been made to rewrite the text for laypersons.

Original
“If amount debited from customer account and ticket not issued, IRCTC will refund the entire Fare and IRCTC convenience fee electronically (as credit to the relevant credit /debit card account used for the transaction), but the bank/card transaction charges are likely to be forfeited.”

Plain language version

“If the amount is debited from your account and ticket not issued, IRCTC will refund the fare and IRCTC convenience fee electronically to your account. However, you may lose the bank/card transaction charges.”

Original
“In case of e-tickets shall be cancelled online or online TDR shall be filed within the time limits prescribed under these rules for obtaining refund.

Where a RAC ticket or wait-listed ticket is presented for cancellation, the refund of fare shall be made after deducting the clerkage if the ticket is present for cancellation upto thirty minutes before the scheduled departure of the train irrespective of the distance.”

Plain language version

“To obtain a refund, cancel e-tickets online or file the TDR online within the time limits mentioned here.

Cancel an RAC ticket or wait-listed ticket at least 30 minutes before train departure. IRCTC will then refund the fare minus its fee.”
(Clerkage seems to be railway jargon. The user doesn’t need to be bothered with it. IRCTC charge or fee gets the meaning across.)


The edits I have provided here are not the only way of simplifying these sentences, but are only guidelines. The point being that IRCTC needs to talk “to” its users and not “down” at them. And that writing in plain language is not all that difficult, if the intention is to help achieve the user’s objective as quickly and easily as possible.

Plain language and design rethink: UIDAI

This post is about how the UIDAI website can be more human-centric using plain language (PL) and design principles. This is not a comprehensive critique. I have picked eight examples to show how these principles can make life easier for the site’s users.

I am happy to be publishing this post just a couple of days before International Plain Language Day. I hope we can pick up the momentum here in India on writing more clearly and humanly.

The Universal Identification Authority of India is a government agency responsible for issuing citizens the Aadhaar card / number. This number is unique to each individual and is key in accessing governmental services. It is also a highly preferred document to open your bank account, rent a house, get a gas connection – in short, to live your life in India.

#1 Avoid wordiness.

Aadhaar Mitra, the bot, that pops up on the home page says:

“Welcome to Aadhaar!

Hi, I am your Aadhaar Mitra.

How May I Help you!!

Ask me anything about Aadhaar!”


It could have simply said, “Hi, I am your Aadhaar Mitra. How may I help you?”

Using fewer words saves everyone’s time. A chat bot’s messages have no business being wordy, as it must cater to immediate requests from users.

#2 Use lists when talking about a number of things.

Identity and address proof documents mentioned on this page can be better presented with a list and sub-heads:


What to submit?

For proof of identity and address:

• Ration card

• Voter identity card

• Government-issued identity card/certificate having address

• Indian Passport

For proof of identity:

• PAN card

• Driving license

• Secondary or Senior School mark sheet/ School leaving certificate having photograph

• Government-issued identity card/ certificate

For proof of address:

• Electricity/water/gas bill (last 3 months)

• Bank / Post Office passbook

• Rent/ lease/ leave & license agreement

#3. Use “you” and other pronouns. Speak directly.

And

#4: Cut the bloat.

Below is the introductory paragraph on the grievance and feedback page and a possible rewrite. The original paragraph prefaces and rambles. I have implemented two important PL principles in this example: use pronouns like you would in a conversation with human beings and eliminate unnecessary words.

Strangely, it seems like as if this page is only for grievances related to the update process.

Original
Aadhaar, as the most commonly used digital identity, is used to avail of numerous subsidies, benefits and services. In view of the same, for maintaining the accuracy of the Aadhaar database, UIDAI had initiated an exercise for update of documents and Aadhaar information. In the course of activities undertaken to keep the Aadhaar database updated, intimations are issued from time to time to Aadhaar number holders. In this connection, it is clarified that no Aadhaar number has been cancelled. In case any Aadhaar number holder has any grievance in this regard, they may submit their feedback here. Any such grievance will be duly addressed.

Rewritten in plain language
To maintain the accuracy of your Aadhaar information, we ask you to update your documents from time to time. We wish to clarify that we have not cancelled any Aadhaar number in the updating process.

If you have a complaint about your Aadhaar update, please fill in the form here.

In the rewrite, I have:

• Used pronouns such as “you” and “we”. This speaks directly to the user and makes it an interaction between human beings. It invokes trust, is shorter, and easier to understand than the distant-sounding passive phrases which eliminate the need to use a pronoun.

• Deleted prefacing sentences, such as the first one in the original paragraph.

• Deleted phrases like “In view of the same”, “in this connection”, and “in this regard” which merely add flab and have no real purpose.

• Deleted repetitive information couched in different words. The phrase “In the course of activities undertaken to keep the Aadhaar database updated” refers to what has already been stated in the previous sentence.

• Tightened up the copy: Use “if” instead of “in case”.

• Got rid of officialese such as “duly addressed”. Scratch that. I got rid of all of the last sentence. If I fill in a grievance form, I obviously expect it to be addressed.

#5. Use common and accurate words.

“Demographics” is a word that comes up often on the site. Demographic refers to anything related to population or the different groups in it. When the UIDAI site says “Update demographics data”, it simply means “Update your data”.

While “demographics” is not a common word that most people visiting the UIDAI site can easily understand, it is not even the correct word in this context. Using inaccurate words has a further repercussion when you bring in machine translation (MT). In the machine-translated Kannada version of the website, demographics becomes ಜನಸಂಖ್ಯಾ ಮಾಹಿತಿ, which is the literal translation of the word. It means population information. Not helpful.

Same goes for the word “grievance”. “Complaint” is a more commonplace word.

#6. Create a glossary.

Following from the last point, a glossary or a terminology database is necessary for terms used on the website. The glossary must state the meaning of the term in the context of the website. This can be used to train MT engines and can serve as a reference for professional translators as well.

A glossary can help avoid the many mistakes that can crop up with translation down the line and the ensuing need for corrections. While this is not a strictly plain language recommendation, it is conducive to it.

And while we are on the subject of MT, the disclaimer about MT accuracy needs to be visible when someone opens the translated versions of the website. It’s currently at the very bottom of the main site.

#7. Keep accessibility in mind.

The UIDAI site uses a carousel to highlight new features. It moves pretty fast from slide to slide. I usually find it hard to read from carousels and am constantly trying to keep up. It isn’t just me though.

The W3C (Web Accessibility Initiative) has this to say about carousels:

“Carousels are disputed from a usability perspective because their content can be hard to discover.”

And

“For any moving, blinking or scrolling information that (1) starts automatically, (2) lasts more than five seconds, and (3) is presented in parallel with other content, there is [must be] a mechanism for the user to pause, stop, or hide it...”

(Text in square brackets is mine.)

Carousels make it distracting for people with difficulties reading or focusing. They also don’t seem to take into account the fact that people read at different speeds. We have data to show that carousels are ignored by most users: only 1% interact with a carousel at all, and 89% of them only with the first slide.

When they must be used, carousels must have a pause button. The carousel on the UIDAI site does have a pause button, but is hard to find as it’s right in the middle of the slide and I missed it on my initial visits. It didn't seem to work either when I clicked it and the carousel kept playing.

Carousels do help in packing a lot of information in a smaller space. But a government website is better off helping citizens accomplish their objective, rather than confuse or distract them in an effort to save space.

The good news, however, is that carousels are missing from the subdomains of the site.

The UIDAI website carries a certification stamp from the Guidelines for Indian Government Websites and Apps (GIGW). These guidelines quote from the very same W3C guideline on carousels in Section 5.2.25. Yet, the message seems to be lost.

#8. Clear the clutter.

The whole set of links under the About Aadhaar button can be moved off the main navigation. Same goes for the Ecosystem links. These are obviously not for the lay user, but for the people or agencies who work for UIDAI or for media personnel who seek additional information.



As I said before, this is not a comprehensive clarity audit. What did you notice that can be improved? Share in the comments.

Corona communication: What can India do better?

How is India communicating to its citizens about the Corona pandemic? In this post, I talk mainly about how the government, a chief player in crisis communication, can improve its messaging. I have only briefly touched upon how the media is faring, as that merits a separate conversation altogether.

Leaders must not preface. Get to the point quickly. This is the first rule of plain language. In general, governments find it hard to comply with plain language, but if there was ever a time to start doing so, it's now. In prime minister Narendra Modi's first speech on corona, he took a full minute to even mention the name of the virus. Contrast that with German chanceller Angela Merkel's speech where she begins right away with Corona. Her speech is also less than half the length of Modi's – keep it short, stupid?

What is plain language? To put it briefly, speaking in plain language means the target audience of the message should be able to understand the message at the first attempt. Using familiar words words, avoiding jargon are important principles of plain language. If you must use a new term or jargon, explain it. Crises are not a time when anyone would want to or can look up the meaning of rarely-used words and phrases.

Responding to Corona has resulted in a barrage of new words and phrases being coined. Some cultures may find it particularly hard to understand concepts such as "social distancing". In India, where a typical queue more often looks like what you see below, clear, detailed instructions are necessary on how one goes about distancing oneself in various public situations. "Physical distancing" may have made it clearer.

"Physical distancing" and not "social distancing" may
have been a clearer term to use in India.
Image source: Medium 

West Bengal chief minister Mamata Banerjee provided a demo on buying vegetables while maintaining distance between each other.

Provide speedy, easy access to information. In times of crisis, people are hungry for information on how to take care of themselves and their families, where and how to get food and medicine, and so on. The health and family welfare ministry's website has been turned into a Corona portal. Yet, it still does not serve as the repository of all Corona-related information in India. For instance, how and where one can one find essential goods and services during a lockdown? Remember, this is an unprecedented event. There's no such thing as too much information in such times. The government must also consider setting up a disaster/crisis communications center, perhaps as part of the National Disaster Management Authority which can evolve standards and best practices for government agencies, healthcare personnel, media, etc. to use.

State governments should provide more granular information, such as district-wise data on where to get food, medicines, local numbers to contact the police, the district health authorities, and any other state-specific information.

Translate and localize. The central government's Corona portal or app as well as the helpline should be available in all the 22 official languages of India. So should the NDMA's. There can't be any excuses for not communicating in any major language of India at such a time. It's not hard to put together this multilingual information: the states will anyway be producing content in their own languages. The centre just has to collate this.

Another critical takeaway for the government from Corona: recognise the linguistic rights of Indian citizens and invest in translation. India has a thriving ecosystem of language service providers (LSPs) who provide a range of language services. Rope them in to create a nation-wide panel of translators and interpreters which any government agency can hire at a moment's notice. Other multilingual societies such as the European Union have done so and even gone on to prepare themselves for crisis translation. Learn from them.

It's not enough to merely translate. One of the government's frequently broadcast messages on the do's and don'ts to prevent the spread of the disease has the actor Amitabh Bachchan talking about using tissues when one sneezes or coughs. Apparently, this has been adapted from international advisories. But how many people in India use a tissue or have access to it? The video skips mentioning the alternative to tissues, which is sneezing into your elbow. This advice needed to be localized to India's reality where most people use a cloth napkin or handkerchief when they have a cold or a cough. Of course, it would have to be followed up with advice on carefully handling and washing the used napkin. Let's also remember that our waste management workers often work with no protective gear. So, if the urban masses used and disposed tissues by the kilograms, think about the potential risks to these workers and the probability of mass infections.

Also, provide information in different formats to cater to people of varying literacy levels as well as people with no or little internet access. Use simple infographics to explain how the disease spreads and what one can do to stay safe.

Fight misinformation. While accurate information may be hard to come by, there is no dearth of fake news, ranging from propagating superstitions, to scaremongering, to furthering political agendas. When Modi asked people to show appreciation to essential services providers by clapping at 5 pm on janata curfew day, WhatsApp forwards went crazy claiming the government would spray some medicine to kill the virus and that's why people were being asked to stay home. The message also said that once the medicine was sprayed, life would return to normal the next day. It can't get more dangerous than this. Social network and chat app providers should work extra hard to quickly catch and filter out fake news forwards and regularly alert people on how they can recognise fake news. Of course, the prime minister could himself have merely thanked the essential services providers and not asked for that specific step. Stick to relevant stuff – another mantra for disaster messaging.

Media, please rein in yourself. On the eve of India's lockdown, I watched in silent horror as the editor of a top Kannada news channel encouraged police personnel to do whatever it takes, even beat up people, to make sure they didn't venture out. We've seen where that has led us. So, please do not play the vigilante. If possible, please work to remind the state that it's still a democracy.

And, enough with the horror-movie style background music and intimidating styles of delivering the news: there's enough horror unfolding as it is, spare us the add-ons.

Ultimately, communication in times of Corona or any other disaster is as much a governance issue as it is a health one. Not being able to communicate clearly and effectively simply means that the government has failed. Let's communicate in plain language and in all the languages of India to win against Corona. It can provide critical lessons in upholding democracy. After all, information is our right.